Did you know that excess studying can be a trauma response?
Well, studying is a good thing, isn’t it?
Parents tell their kids to study hard.
Schools say the same.
Even society, encourages us to keep learning.
But what if you only consume more and more knowledge and it doesn’t help you to feel better?
I only need one more course, one more book, one more certificate…..
Nearly 90% of psychology students suffer from anxiety and nearly 70% with depression.
Your pain is in your heart and in your body. Yes, it can be caused by the thoughts we have. So, change your thoughts, change your life, right?
Learning to see something from a different angle, can be enormously helpful.
So, why do I say then, that excess studying can be a trauma response?
Because life works best, when we have balance.
To only trying to feel how unhappy you are and not learning how you could see things differently will not help you to change your mindset and become happier.
Trying to understand what has happened to you only with the logic mind, neglects the fact that trauma is not only an intellectual experience, but also an emotional and physical one, and will also fail to work.
To heal and be able to deal with our trauma, we need both. We need the intellectual understanding for example, that it wasn’t our fault. But maybe we will never fully understand, why someone who said they loved us, also harmed us.
No matter how much compassion and understanding I might have for the other person, at some point, I will have to allow myself to feel.
We want to know that we matter.
We want to know that what we feel matters and is true.
We want to know that someone gets us.
Logic often tries to fix us.
But we are not broken.
We are people with emotional, physical and intellectual experiences and to only concentrate on one area, will not work.
“Just sit with your feelings” is advice that can feel really threatening for some people with trauma experience.
So how about we start to feel.
We start to become mindful and feel the tension in our bodies.
We take a deep breath, drop our shoulders and feel how the tension is leaving our body.
We allow ourselves to really taste that cup of tea, to really smell our freshly washed jumper and to really feel the softness of our blanket.
Rather than starting to sit with uncomfortable feelings, start with positive ones.
Open the door a bit and allow yourself to create a safe space for yourself.
Pause for a minute and give your mind a rest.
No more trying to understand for a while.
No more cramping more knowledge into your mind.
No more intellectual gymnastics, just for this moment.
How does feeling feel?
When does too relaxed start to feel threatening?
When do I feel outside my comfort zone, do I actually have one?
Give yourself permission to not know all the answers and instead try to meet yourself.
I bet you will be surprised what person you will find, when you stop to see yourself as someone who always has to serve others, perform to the highest expectations or who feels they constantly have to proof their worth to others.
Allow yourself to be first and that includes feelings as well.
